The Tracey Emin Retrospective
In an attempt to assess Tracey Emin's work with unbiased eyes, I have used the notes of a schoolgir, who I met whilst visiting the Tracey Emin exhibition, at the Scoltish National Gallery of Modern Art, with her mother. This is an extract from her notebook, which she has kindly allowed me to reproduce.

Tracey Emin: A Proper Review in real writing
by sharon
Today I went to see Tracy Emin's Reprospecsaver at a big gallery in Edinburgh Scotland with my mum 'cause mum's a teacher and she says the school is thinking about applying for a £5000 arts council grant so they can write to Tracy and ask if it's enough to get her to come into school for an afternoon and do some art with her class and make them a big blanket like she did at another school but mum says she wants to see what this Emin woman is about first.
Mum looked at the bits of paper on the wall and she says Tracy Emin writes about stuff that filfth formers at her school write in diaries and on toilet walls and Tracey bangs on about stuff that happened to her that was nasty when she was young. All about Tracey Emin's pain and stuff and about being Traci Emin and Tracy being called a slag off all the people she'd had a bit with for having a bit with loads of people and this made Tracy want to dance and she films herself dancing on a video cause she escapes from it all. At least she escapes from Margate anyways. Tracey then shows us what she must've shown the boys and she puts her flaps on drawings and stuff...AOUCH!. Mum says I've not to write flaps...AOUCH! and Tracy scribbles and talks about stuff that my mum says you wouldn't let your kids read let alone take them to see. Oh and one of those security people who makes sure nobody steals Tracey Emin's flaps...AOUCH!...off the wall or has a shit on her bed...AOUCH!... so's they can say they do shit art like Tracey Emin told my mum that Tracey told someone at the BBC that she doesn't think she would've been a great artist if she hadn't lost her kid in a taxi or somewhere and my mum said too bloody true cause she'd never've had the bloody time to crass about like she does if she had to do proper work and bring up a demanding BABY! And there's some other stuff about Tracy havin sex and Tracey Emin and some bloke on what looks like a shawl or a patchwork quilt on the wall and a drawing of a great big coc...AOUCH!
Wish my mum would stop lookin at what I'm writin the nosey cow...AOOOOUCH!.
Then there's an empty cigarette box and crappy photos and a nice note about her uncle who saved her life when she nearly didn't have one which made me sad for the one that didn't get one and could've been a demanding baby and I could've been somewhere else. Oh, and there's a chair and a photo of the chair with Tracey Emin sat on it in some faraway place because the chair is a celebrity like Tracey and in another room there's a pile of old wood made into something that looks like a crappy garden fence or a clever bonfire waiting to be lit that goes into the wall to signify something else, but I couldn't be arsed reading that bit so I didn't find it out. Oh, and before all this I saw lots of little bits of pictures of stuff that Tracey Emin destroyed after she'd had her epiphany or whatever it was in the back of a taxi. But don't worry cause this time they're done small so you can't see them properly so you don't have to pretend you're looking. And there's a neon light and some other stuff where she exposes her fl... her woman's bits again and her bum and she's made another shawl with a crucifix on it that says come unto me and that every time she feels love she thinks Christ she's going to be crucified and my mum says I wish they'd get on with it cause she's doin' her flippin suede in with all her morbid moaning.
When we finally got to the museum shop there was stacks of Tracy things for sale and mum said I couldn't have a t-shirt cause they're twenty five quid so she bought me a pencil for a quid. It's nice. The pencil I mean. I think I'll learn to draw like Tracey whatsherface. Mum says I probably already can and it might take my mind off self-harming and I can get rich and famous and be the next Tracy but I think I prefer being Sharon and keep all my women's bits to myself.
Mum says she's not inviting Tray to school cause she's one crazy-foul-mouthed psycho bitch....AAAAOUCH!

PS I decided that I want to be an artist. I re-did my ticket and made in into modern art izzit.

xxx

love sharon